NOSTALGIA..

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Love, the lost me
The Lost Me

(๐Ÿ˜ƒ  The story is fiction inspired by some true incidents.)

Some relations in our lives exist unnamed. We don't talk about those people, hardly hear about them. Still, they hold a special place in our memories.
We were classmates since childhood, but all was not good between us. Being first, and second place holders in class, we had a natural ego conflict and competition. I liked him for many years. Years.. don't know where to count from, but I knew he didn't have ever thought about me.
I last remember that we were in class 4th, and I was dying to sit next to him. However, in all those years and after too, the teachers never made our seating arrangement together.
He was often too rude, and so was I. Attitude problem! He hated me for being the first place holder (at least I thought it that time ๐Ÿ˜ƒ), and I saw him secretly through my books, during recess, at the playground, assembly hall, everywhere my eyes followed him. My first wish after reaching school was to see him. We hardly made any eye contact, but the single sight of his made my day.
I remember I used to be the class monitor and intentionally wrote his name on the blackboard many times- just to see him jumping off his seat, coming to me and shouting, "Hey Idiot! I wasn't talking. Why do you only write my name? You only find me in the class? You are jealous and want the teacher to scold me."
Ah! During these few seconds, my purpose to get his attention was fulfilled, and I stupidly repeated his lines the entire day, 1000 times in my mind. You Idiot! You are stupid! Sometimes he teased me, making fun of my spectacles which I got in the early years of my life, saying, "You Chasmish! You Double-battery! Pta Teri eyes itni badi-badi hain aur tu specs laga ke ekdum stupid lagti hai." (You have big eyes, and you look stupid wearing those glasses.)
Usually, I overreacted that time, like Shut up! There is no need to talk to me or tease him by any stupid name, but only I know how my heart inflated. I needed a place of solace for a few minutes to hide my blush and get back to normal.
 You may like- How I started WRITING ☺
Though I had best friends, I never told them about him because no one in the class could imagine and believe that I liked him for years together and that too when we knew nothing about these feelings. To a great extent, our sole definition of like or love was influenced by Bollywood movies, and we hardly cared. (At that time in our school, we didn't even know the meaning of GF and BF. Just 90s things!! ๐Ÿ˜œ) 
We never became friends and never talked; though I was the most talkative girl in my class, I hardly had any courage to speak to him directly and initiate friendship.
Time flew by, we reached class 9th, and I heard one day that he was moving to another city and leaving our school after 2-3 days. I remember how hard I cried at home and prayed to God to cancel his plan. On his last day in school, he hugged his friends and shook hands with others but didn't come to me, neither I went!!
It has been over a decade since he left the school; has completed his PG, and is excelling in his field. We still don't talk. But, sometimes, the silliest thought of my school days brings back his face afresh in my mind; it recalls all the school time memories and brings back an unspoken part of me, a wave of uneasiness yet a child-like smile at my lips.
I don't wish to talk to him anymore, but it's good to drive down memory lanes sometimes!! NOSTALGIA... ๐Ÿ˜Š
Bonhomie.. Ambivert.. Opinionated.. MostlySane… LostOtherwise..! #thelostme

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